How to accept and embrace “everyday craziness” with children

It is important for parents to realize that a certain amount of everyday craziness is normal when you live with children. Family life can be crazy, loud, messy, chaotic, and stressful and still be absolutely normal. And only because you feel that way it does not mean you are not doing an awesome job. You are!

You don’t give yourself enough credit. And by the way: the kids might perceive the situation completely differently.

Open your eyes and see the truth!

We are all in the same boat and sometimes struggle to stay afloat. Just talk to your mom friends and you will find out that they all have their package of family craziness. Do not only focus on the peanut butter and jelly on your own shirt, but also notice the cereal in your colleague’s hair. It will make you smile and feel better to see that we are all struggling to do our best and keep everybody alive, clean and on time. We are dancing the same dance with our children, sometimes slowly and peacefully and sometimes fast and furiously.

Open your mind and see the fun!

Change perspective and see the situation through your child’s eyes. Your four year old gave your two year old a Nutella face paint? That’s hilarious! And creative! And very messy, but nobody got hurt. Laugh out loud! Take a picture and whenever you see it in the future, it will put a smile on your face. I know it is not always easy and there are situations that can make you cry. You are tired and exhausted and have to clean and wash everything. But you have to do it anyway and tears do not help. It definitely feels better when you find a way to stay positive. Always remember: it does not mean things are out of control. It just means you are living with toddlers. Your lonely neighbor would give anything to experience that and one day you will miss the craziness in your house.

Open your heart and support each other!

Find your tribe. Find your community. It does take a village to raise children. We all know that, but we still try to do everything by ourselves. Why? Is it hard to trust others? Do you feel guilty when somebody else does the job you are supposed to do? I often see mothers and fathers judging other parents and it makes me sad. We all try to do our best. We all love our children. Judgment does not help anybody and competition makes parenting so much more stressful for no reason. There is no trophy to win and it does not make you a better parent to “win.” Every child is different, every family is different, and you cannot even compare, so why compete?

When I moved to Miami I had an infant and a toddler, no family and no friends. That’s when I experienced the huge support of other moms I met in a Mommy-and-me-class. They lifted me up, shared their knowledge, their resources, their time, their friendship and also their worries and problems. We have been supporting and helping each other ever since and it was a total game-changer for me. I never feel alone and I know I can depend on my mom (and dad) friends when times get rough. It’s not only the emotional support, but also the practical help. We carpool, babysit each other’s kids and help when somebody needs it (and we all do need it). And it is so much more fun!